When Grief Shows Up at Work (and You Have to Pretend You're Fine)

You're back at work. You're in meetings, answering emails, and trying to focus. But inside, you're grieving.

You might:

• Cry in the bathroom or your car
• Forget things you'd normally remember
• Feel irritable or impatient with colleagues
• Struggle to care about work tasks
• Feel guilty for not being "productive"

You're not failing. You're navigating one of the hardest parts of grief: functioning in a world that expects you to be "normal."

Before You Return

1. Decide What to Share

You don't owe anyone your full story. Consider:

• Telling your supervisor or HR
• Sharing with a trusted colleague
• Keeping it private (if that feels safer)

2. Ask for Accommodations (If Possible)

• Flexible schedule
• Reduced workload temporarily
• Time off for appointments or difficult days

At Work

1. Expect It to Be Hard

Don't set unrealistic expectations. You're not going to be as productive as usual.

2. Build in Breaks

• Step outside for 5 minutes
• Take a walk around the building
• Find a quiet space if you need to cry or breathe

3. Have a "Safe Person"

Identify one colleague you can be honest with: "I'm having a tough day. I might need to step away."

4. Use Simple Coping Tools

• Deep breathing (in for 4, out for 6)
• Grounding (name 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear)
• A small object in your pocket to hold when you're overwhelmed

After Work

1. Expect Exhaustion

Holding it together all day is draining. Plan for rest.

2. Debrief with Someone Safe

Talk about what was hard, what helped, and what you might need tomorrow.

3. Be Gentle with Yourself

You showed up. That's enough.

A Note on Career Decisions

If work is consistently unbearable:

• Don't make permanent decisions in temporary pain
• Consider talking to a career counselor or therapist
• Explore whether a different role, schedule, or environment might be more supportive

Grief at Work Is Hard

You're not weak for struggling. You're human. And you're allowed to need support.